Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Journal: 112.12.15

I spoke with Commander Invelen last night.

Judging by her expression when she opened the channel, she would have liked to rip me in half. I've seen those arms of hers too, she could do it.

By the end of it, she just thought I was an idiot. Not sure that's an improvement, but at least she's begrudgingly agreed to keep me in the loop. Part of our discussion is sticking in my head, though.

Sent > She did ask me. How could I have dodged the question without that avoidance being worse? I hate what's happened to her because of what I said, but some things just have to be confronted
Amieta Invelen > Given that you are *ignorant* of the situation, I would ask you to not assume you know what needs to be confronted.

Which would be fair enough except....

Well, you don't fix a hull breach by closing the pressure door and hanging a "do not open this door" sign on it. Sure, the air might not be escaping, but the ship's still got a hole in it. Setting a broken bone is painful, but leaving it is worse.

This isn't about how much or how little I know about Cia's situation. This is about universal truths, and the universal truth is that you can't solve a problem by avoiding it. You can observe it and come to understand it that way, but resolution can only come through confrontation.

But... I'll wait and hear this Doctor Akell's opinion. I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist, and I have to bear in mind the possibility that I might be wrong.


There's one other thing, though...

Amieta Invelen > I've seen the transcript. You could have found a better way to describe it.

I wonder... could I? Did I make things worse by phrasing things how I did?

No. I don't think I did. I think the damage was done long ago, and that somebody was going to trigger her breakdown eventually. I think that reading the letter from Andreus to Haeldone Dorgiers was the trigger. Her conversation with me was just a part of the collapse, not the cause.

And I think it's hard to be angry at the ghosts of the past when you've got a more immediate target right in front of you, which is why I don't blame Amieta for disliking me right now.

Save. End.

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